Would You Rather?
by SpecialCat
Summary: Immortal!Yao x Russia Would you rather die right now or be immortal? EDIT 24/2/13: After the initial one-shot there will be a multi-chapter story, with pretty much the same plot as the one-shot, just longer. Please read and review :)
1. Would You Rather?

Would You Rather?

By SpecialCat

* * *

Immortality is a curse.

You came to realize that soon after you made the choice.

Would you rather?

Would you rather die now, or live forever?

Easy choice, you thought. Live forever! It's the better choice.

But you were wrong.

You realize that now.

You forgot about family and friends.

Sure, you could get married. Sure, you could have kids. But you'd have to live with the fact that one day, you'll have to bury them all.

So you avoided everyone.

You forced everyone to leave your house.

You didn't leave the house for 1,000 years.

And everyone was gone.

You thought you were safe now, you didn't know anyone else, they were all gone now.

So you left the house regularly.

Sunday mornings,

Wednesday lunch

And Friday nights.

And then you met him.

You tried to avoid him, ignore his violet gaze.

But it didn't work.

You became good friends with him.

And even a little bit more.

You told yourself that, he's different. He won't leave me.

But you knew.

Don't say you were surprised when he left.

When the soft, silvery-blonde hair fell out and the bright, violet eyes dimmed.

You screamed.

You cried.

You sobbed.

You missed him.

It was all your fault.

IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

You were guilt-ridden.

So you tried suicide.

But what good is suicide when you're immortal?

You chose this.

You wanted to be immortal.

IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

But would you rather of been mortal and never of met him?

Would you rather bury him or never of met him?

Would you rather die right now or become immortal?

Would you rather?

This is what Yao Braginsky asks himself everyday.

Would you rather?

* * *

Hey!

Sorry for the OOCness -_-

This is my first Hetalia fanfic, so please review!


	2. Would You Rather, The longer version

So, here is the fully written out version of Would You Rather?

Please Review! ^^

**DISCLAMER: **I don't own Hetalia

* * *

_'Would you rather die right now, or live forever?'_

His boss had given him a choice.

Yao had been confused at first, what did this have to do with politics or the economy?

But he was in no mood to query his boss' intentions, he could tell from the glint in the dragon's red eyes, that he was not going to tolerate questions.

_'Live forever,'_

Yao had no idea how those two words would change his life. He though maybe the dragon was tired and was just spouting nonsense.

His boss lifted his regal head and nodded toward's the door. Yao bowed and quickly hurried out of the room.

The brunette was confused, but he dismissed it, and instead concentrated on seeing his family again. His brothers, Kiku, Yong Soo, Kaoru and his sister, Mei, would be waiting for him at home.

_'Ah, I can't wait to see them again, aru,'_

Yao had no idea how drastically his life would change

He only started to notice that things were different after about 13 years.

Yao was now 38, yet he looked exactly the same as when he was 25.

He had no wrinkles, no thin silvery hairs, no bald patches, he looked the same.

_'Aiyah! This is strange . . .'_

Yao continued to gaze at the mirror, confused. Why hadn't he changed? Were his genes that good? He ran his hands through his long, brown hair, when was it going to fall out? No that he was looking forward to that . . .

_'Yao hurry up! We're going to be late!'_

Mei burst in wearing her white, wedding dress. The dress had long, flowing silver lace sleeves that hung off her body. The waist was pinched and embroided with all kinds of sequins and gems. She looked beautiful. Today was the day Mei was getting married, to a Thai man she had met at a convenience store, while trying to buy a pregnancy test.

_'C'mon! I don't want Kasem to think I left him at the altar!'_

Yao tore his gaze from the mirror, smiled and escorted her to the sleek, limousine that awaited them.

_'Sorry Mei.'_

His little sister and her husband died 24 hours later.

They had been killed by a drunk driver, only 35 meters from the hotel they were staying at.

Yao was the first one to discover their mangled corpses.

He had been walking down to their hotel, to deliver a bottle of ancient Chinese wine and a bouquet of peonies, when he saw two cars destroyed by the side of the road. It had seemed to be relatively recent, one of the cars was still on and the other was still spewing smoke.

He had dashed to the wreckage, determined to see if there was anyone still in the vehicles, and then he saw her.

Her eyes were wide open and staring blankly ahead of her. Her jaw was hanging off of her face, clinging on by a thread. Her dress had been torn, ripped, burned and stained with blood . Kasem didn't seem to be much better of either, shards of glass tearing into his face.

Yao couldn't believe it when he first saw it, his sister was dead?

His sarcastic, annoying, cold, beautiful, sweet little sister, Mei, dead?

Yao closed his eyes and screamed, hot tears pouring down his face.

_'Mei!'_

After the death of Mei, Yao was much more protective over his family. He monitored what they ate, where they went, who they were with, when they went out and always made sure they were never alone. He thought of it as his own personal job to drive his brothers to and from their school, work and wherever else they went.

He was so close to bubble-wrapping the house and forcing his siblings into car-seats. He was being extreme, and he knew it. So he wasn't too surprised when he drove the eldest of his little brothers out of the house.

_'Aiyah! Kiku what are you doing ,aru!?'_

But he hadn't expected him to lash out violently.

It was 8:00pm and Yao was enforcing bedtime. He had just put the 15 year old Kaoru and the 16 year old Yong Soo to bed, and now it was 18 year old Kiku's turn.

He'd entered Kiku's bedroom to find his brother huddling over a purple cloth.

_'Kiku, bedtime aru!'_

Kiku turned around to face Yao.

_'Forgive me for what I am about to do, nii-san,'_

Confusion flooded Yao's mind. Forgive him for what? Was he being disobedient? What was wrapped up in that purple cloth?

Kiku slid out a thin, sharp katana, from under the cloth and began to slowly edge near his brother.

Yao jumped back, startled.

_'Kiku, what are you doing!?'_

He felt the cold blade slide across his back, making thin cuts all over the Chinese man's body. He could feel his blood trickling down his back, in small rivulets. He never thought Kiku would do something like this.

Tears welled up in Yao's eyes as he felt the blade hack at his back, he didn't cry out of fear that he would wake his brothers, nor did he fight back lest he hurt Kiku. It felt weird how Kiku was attacking him and yet Yao didn't want to cause Kiku any harm.

The Nanjing Massacre was a terrible thing.

_'Kiku, what changed?'_

Yao treated his remaining siblings with care, he didn't want them to leave him. The Nanjing Massacre had left his people distraught and weary, which was taking a toll on Yao's physical health.

The normally relaxed Yao was now consistently stressed and tense. He'd keep himself awake all night, worrying and worrying, back still pained from Kiku's departure. Yao was no longer able to get up early and do Tai Chi in the park, he wasn't able to take his siblings to school and he wasn't even able to cook for his brothers. His days were filled with pain and sleep, his nights filled with stress and worry.

Out of his remaining siblings, Kaoru and Yong Soo, Yong Soo was the most worried about Yao. The loud and hyper Korean was quieter and more subdued whenever Yao was around, even if he was only slightly quieter.

Kaoru was worried too, but he'd never let it show, trying to preserve his stoic mask.

After the Nanjing Massacre, things were relatively quiet in the house, only small fights would happen every now and again. But nothing as big as when Kaoru was taken.

Yao had been siting on the couch, helping Yong Soo and Kaoru with their homework, when the wooden door was ripped of it's hinges.

Leaning against the doorway, with a smirk hanging on his lips, was Arthur Kirkland. The living embodiment of Great Britain. The man was a pirate, sailing the seas to enslave countries, a terrible drunkard. He was also a frequent visitor of Yao, much to his annoyance. Arthur used to control Yao, with help from his unlikely ally Francis (France) the first Opium War. Yao could still remember the days, the months, the years, they forced him to cook and work for him, never offering him any thanks.

'_What are you doing here, aru?'_

Yao narrowed eyes, not liking the man who barged into their house, breaking the door. Arthur was obviously drunk, Yao could smell the scent of rum seething from the man.

Arthur merely smirked and strode towards Yao, the stench of alcohol following him. He took Yao's hand, playing with it for a while, before throwing himself onto the couch beside Yao.

_'Is it so wrong for me to see my family?'_

Yao was seething with rage. His family!? They weren't related in any way, shape or form! He could feel Arthur's hand snaking up his leg and he slapped it away. This man was truly disgusting.

Arthur's face changed into a mask of rage, he threw Yao of the couch and onto the floor, raising his fist. Yao winced, the cold floor hard against his back.

_'Aniki da-ze!'_

Yong Soo threw himself at the man, slapping, kicking and biting him. Arthur merely picked Yong Soo up by his neck and flung him across the room. Yong Soo slid down the wall, unconscious, Kaoru rushed to his side.

Now that Yong Soo was out cold, the room was suddenly very quiet. Or maybe that was just Yao's imagination.

Everything seemed to move in slow-motion.

Arthur was beating Yao with his fists, each blow causing his body to feel cold and numb. Kaoru was holding Yong Soo, crying, the Korean still unconscious.

Then all of a sudden everything sped up.

Within what felt like seconds, Arthur kicked Yao aside and flung a crying and screaming Kaoru over his back, before leaving the house.

_'Brother Yao!'_

It took a few seconds for the what had just happened to click in Yao's mind.

His eyes widened and he struggled to his feet. He wobbled towards the door screaming for Kaoru. But he was gone. Yao's legs collapsed and he lay on the ground, sobbing, his face a covered in a mixture of blood, snot and tears.

_'Kaoru! Come back Kaoru!'_

Today was Yao's 45th birthday.

He'd wanted a nice, peaceful birthday, but with Yong Soo in the house with no other siblings to calm him down, it was obviously not going to happen.

_'Aniki! Happy Birthday da-ze!'_

Yong Soo bounded into Yao's bedroom and jumped on his brother's legs. Yong Soo was 22 but he still acted like a 5 year old at best. Yong Soo seemed very excited, he was bouncing up and down, giggling like a little girl.

_'Aiyah! Yong Soo, what is it aru?'_

Yong Soo jumped up and dragged Yao out of bed, leading him out of his room. He seemed to have a particular bounce in his step, maybe he was just excited that there was a birthday in the house?

_'Come Aniki! Your present is in the main room!'_

In the main room there were bags and suitcases packed haphazardly all around the room. Yao was confused. Did Yong Soo get him a whole bunch of bags and suitcases for his birthday?

Yao gave Yong Soo a puzzled look, Yong Soo responding with a grin.

_'It's your present! You're always going on about how I waste my time in my room, so I'm moving out and studying at a teacher's collage!'_

Yao's eyes widened. Yong Soo was moving away?

_'Nee, Aniki don't you like your present da-ze?'_

Yao looked at Yong Soo. He looked crest-fallen, the excitement seeming to of faded from his eyes. Yao beamed at him and patted his back.

_'No, aru. It's a great present! I'll finally get the house all to myself! It just caught me by . . . surprise, aru,'_

The joy seemed to of seeped back into the Korean's eyes, as he jumped up and down happily.

_'That's great da-ze! I was going to leave after breakfast, so you can have your quiet birthday,'_

Yao smiled and nodded. He'd been expecting Yong Soo to leave sooner or later, he was 22 after all. But he'd never thought about it very much.

Later that day he stood by the front door, waving Yong Soo off. He was alone in the house now. All by himself.

_'Dammit Yong Soo, when I said I wanted you to move out, I never meant it.'_

Kiku was dead.

Yao was cleaning the house when Yong Soo had called. The house was large and with only one person living in it, the house gathered dust quickly. Besides, without his family around, he had nothing better to do.

He was in Mei's old bedroom, wiping the pale pink windowsill, when the phone rang. Yao dropped everything and ran towards the phone. He'd gotten a phone 3 months ago and was using every excuse to use it. He couldn't get over how interesting and strange they were.

_'Aniki! It's me da-ze!'_

Of course, the first person to call him in 3 months was Yong Soo.

Yong Soo had graduated from Teacher's Collage and started teaching at a primary school. He'd met a woman called Lien Chung and they'd gotten married 3 years ago and had a child named Macau.

_'I have some bad news da-ze,'_

That got Yao worried. He was worried, it could've been about Macau, he'd been deathly ill 2 months ago. He couldn't imagine his little 2 year old nephew going through anything worse. What if Macau was dead! Who would Yao spoil and cuddle?

_'It's about Kiku,'_

Yao was surprised at the mention of Kiku's name. He'd seen Kiku every now and again, he'd even talked to him on more than one occasion. Kiku seemed very remorseful about the Nanjing massacre, but he still seemed to Yao a little more coldly than others.

_'Kiku's dead, da-ze,'_

Yao was shocked. Kiku was dead? His little brother was dead? The boy who had caused the constellation of scars across his back, was dead?

_'The funeral is on Saturday at Heracles' house at 4pm, I have to go now, Aniki, but I'll call you back da-ze!'_

Yao heard the click of the phone and the line rang flat, but he didn't even notice. Kiku was gone? He could feel something tickling his face and wiped it off. His hand was wet. Had he been crying? He didn't even notice.

Another one of his siblings were lost.

Yao slid down the wall, head in his hands, as his pain-filled sobs echoed around the empty house.

_'Kiku! Where are you Kiku?'_

Yao was about to go visit his boss when he walked past the mirror, he noticed there was something wrong with his appearance.

Yao was 52 years old, yet he still looked the same as when he was in his late 20's. His long, brown hair still fell to his shoulders, he was still awaiting his first grey hair. His almond eyes were still unlined and his skin was still as pale and smooth as it was 24 years ago.

The more he inspected his face, the stranger it seemed. Yao dashed over to his bedside drawer and picked up an old picture of him, from back when he was 28. He ran back to the mirror to study the differences between then and now, and he couldn't find any.

What had happened to him when he was 28? Did idiot Arthur try to use one of his stupid spells on him?

_'Would you rather . . .'_

It had to be Arthur. No one else, except maybe Francis, would try to interfere with his life with something so idiotic. What was the point of him doing such a thing to Yao?

_' . . . die right now or live forever?'_

Yao gasped with realization. It was his boss who did this to him. That stupid dragon! Why would he do such a thing!?

Yao stormed off to go meet his boss and give that stupid dragon a piece of his mind.

_'Live forever.'_

Yao should've gotten at least one grey hair by now. He was 82 years old. But he still looked the same. He looked young, so much younger than his little brother and his little nephew. It was wrong. He should be a seething mass of wrinkles and silvery hair, he should be married and be surrounded by grandchildren, he should have family all around him.

But he didn't.

It was his boss' fault, the stupid dragon had been dead for years now.

He'd stolen a spell from Arthur, was in a bad mood and wanted to try it out on Yao, 'causing the man to never age.

Most people would think of immortality as a god-sent blessing, but Yao despised it. He just wanted to be normal, be married, have children. But none of that could ever happen to him. Who'd marry him?

Why would they want a husband who never aged, while they slowly faded away?

Yao was lonely and he knew it. But he couldn't do anything about it.

_'Please someone, help me.'_

It wasn't too long before Yong Soo and his wife were dead.

Yao knew it wouldn't be too long before his last sibling left him, Yong Soo was getting old, he was 82 years old when he died.

Yong Soo died in his sleep, lying next to his wife, Lien. They'd died together, hand in hand.

It seemed like a nice way to die, to Yao. To die asleep, next to your loving wife, knowing that out there you have a son and a beautiful granddaughter.

_'Aniki! Read me a bedtime story da-ze!'_

It never occurred to Yao that the once lively Korean would ever be so quiet and still. Never in his darkest nightmares could he imagine Yong Soo being so lifeless. He was so full of life, so cheerful and cluelessness, it caused Yao to ponder, when did his brother grow up?

_'Fine, aru. But you have to promise to be quiet,'_

It was impossible for Yong Soo to be silent, right? Why was he so quiet? Why was he dead?

Yao missed his cheerful voice, his annoying hugs and even his stupid cluenessness. Yao missed Yong Soo so much.

_'Yay, Aniki! By the way, did you know that silence originated from Korea, da-ze!?'_

Yao was an old, old man now. He was 153 years old now. Everyone he'd known, everyone he loved and everyone he hated, they were all dead now.

Yao never thought he could feel so lonely, he missed everyone so much. He even missed Arthur to an extent.

Yao found it so hard to even cope with his own existence now, everywhere he went he'd be flooded with countless, painful memories.

_'Yao hurry up! We're going to be late!'_

He could see Mei, still looking stunning in her long white dress staring angrily at him, with her hands on her hips. Yao's eyes started to tear up and he ran from the hallway into his bedroom.

_'Forgive for what I am about to do, nii-san,'_

Kiku was leaning against the windowsill, his bloody katana grasped in his hands, regret showing on his face.

Yao screamed and put his hands over his head. This couldn't be happening to him, this wasn't happening to him!

He staggered into the main room.

_'Brother Yao!'_

Kaoru's last distressed scream seemed to echo in Yao's mind. His head was ringing, he felt so sick.

Yao went and locked himself in his bathroom and let the pain take over his body. He let the tears and grief control his body, shaking with every breath he took.

His family. His whole family was dead. Mei, Kiku, Kaoru and Yong Soo were all gone. He was all alone. They'd left him by himself.

_'That's great da-ze! I was going to leave after breakfast, so you can have your quiet birthday,'_

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, he was supposed to die first, not them. He was their big brother, he wasn't meant to out live them. They weren't supposed to haunt his every thought.

_'Maybe I should start leaving the house again, aru,'_

Yao met him when he was 153. Yao had tried to push the man off and explain to him that he was much older than him and how wrong it was for the younger to flirt with him. Normally giving his suitors a speech like that would put them off, but it didn't this time.

The man merely smiled and carried on.

_'Nee but I think your cute, da?'_

His name was Ivan Braginsky, a tall, Russian man with pale, blonde hair and peculiar violet eyes. He seemed to enjoy following Yao around and making fun of his habit of saying 'aru.'

Ivan was a retired solider, who had fought in the Russo-Japanese war. He was here with his sisters Natalia and Katyusha, visiting China for a holiday. They were only staying for a couple of weeks, but Ivan ended up staying a lot longer.

_'Jao-jao, I can stay here with you, da?'_

Yao tried to deny Ivan and push him away, but the curious purple eyes would always find him, no matter where he hid.

Yao had tried to freak him out with his age and curse of immortality, but that didn't work either.

_'Ded Moroz has many strange miracles, da?' _

Yao tried his best to push Ivan away, but nothing would work. Ever.

Or at least that's what he told himself as he walked down the aisle, in a crisp white suit.

_'I do.'_

Ivan was only 48, but he was dying everyday. His pale, blonde hair had began to fall out and he was becoming weaker and weaker everyday, until he no longer had the strength to leave the bed.

Yao could tell that Ivan was growing weaker everyday.

_'Don't cry, my beautiful Jao-jao. I'm not going to die, so smile. Smile big like Shinatty-chan, da?' _

Yao was fearful, not wanting Ivan to leave him alone. He couldn't bare to be alone again. So it was Ivan who had to comfort Yao every night, telling him that he was not going to die because of some stupid disease.

Yao knew it was wrong, he should be comforting Ivan, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, holding him at night and fussing over him, he shouldn't be blubbering at every minute of the day. He felt so selfish.

_'Smile for me, Jao-jao,'_

Ivan died a week later.

The disease had spread through his body, causing him pain whenever he moved. He suffered in silence, not wanting to worry Yao.

Yao knew though and it hurt him to think that Ivan was hiding his pain.

Ivan became so ill that he eventually became paralyzed, only able to move his mouth, even though that caused him extreme pain.

Yao had tried everything to save Ivan, but all the doctors refused to help Yao, saying that there was nothing they could do to save Ivan's life.

Yao sat by Ivan's bed, holding his hand, watching as the life drained out of Ivan's violet eyes. Yao smiled reassuringly at Ivan, attempting to make small talk to distract Ivan.

_'Those sunflowers out by the hospital looked pretty, didn't they, aru?'_

Ivan watched him, with those dulling purple eyes of his, his face blank and unreadable.

Yao never imagined Ivan like this. He reminded Yao of Yong Soo, in a way. They were both so happy, so full of life, so innocent. Neither could ever be seen without a smile, so it hurt Yao when he saw that Ivan wasn't smiling anymore. He could tell it was happening.

Yao felt the tears pour out of his eyes as he held his lover's hand.

_'Smile for me, Yiwan. Smile happy like those sunflowers by the hospital, aru,'_

Hot, salty tears were falling down Yao's face as he smiled and held Ivan's large hand in his own.

_'I'll smile big like Shinatty-chan, Yiwan. So smile for me. Smile happy like those sunflowers, aru.'_

Ivan squeezed Yao's hand and smiled, his eyes closing for the last time.

Yao cried and held Ivan up close, against his body, sobbing into his dead lover's arms.

_'Smile for me Jao-jao, da?'_

Today was Yao's 180th birthday. But he didn't feel like celebrating.

No, he had something else big planned for today.

Yao pulled himself out of bed and ventured through his empty house. He had so many memories in this house and he was going to explore them all.

Yao trotted down the carpeted hallway, the carpet ending in charred ends.

He smiled, Yao could remember that day. It was Kaoru's 7th birthday and Yong Soo had managed to sneak some leftover fireworks from Chinese New Year's and given them to Kaoru.

_'Yes, Kaoru, it's a great idea for me to tie you to this firework and set it off, da-ze! Trust me! Did you know fireworks originated from Korea da-ze?'_

Yao had found Kaoru zooming around the hallway, with his pants on fire and Yong Soo rolling around on the floor, laughing.

Yao shook his head and smiled, wandering into the kitchen. He remembered when he was trying to cook dinner and Mei had wanted to help him, what a disaster that had turned out to be.

_'Yao! If you don't let me help you cook, I'll never learn anything!'_

He let Mei help him, only to turn his back briefly and see her stuffing and burning all their food in an old, rusty wok. He never let her help him cook again, they had to eat at a restaurant that night.

He sniggered and strode out into the garden.

He found Kiku out here while he was tending to his garden.

Yao had been watering his bok choy, when he heard some rustling in the bushes. Puzzled, Yao had crept closer to inspect the movement.

_'Yong Soo, is that you, aru?'_

He had been expected it to be either Yong Soo or a stray raccoon. It had surprised him to find a young, Japanese boy in his garden.

_'Hello? Oh, aru, hi. My name is Wang Yao, what's your name, aru?'_

Ah, Kiku had been so cute back then, a bundle of black hair and large brown eyes.

'_Hello Yao-san, from where the sun sets. I am Kiku,'_

So cute, but so rude.

Yao grasped a tender gai lan leaf and pondered his thoughts, they were so young and cute back then. When had everything changed?

Yao slinked back into the house and wandered back into the main room, looking at the delicate door frame, the cracks being Ivan's fault.

_'Jao-jao! I'm here, da!'_

He'd burst into the house so suddenly, that the door had been thrown of it's hinges and the door frame was cracked.

_'Aiyah! Yiwan! Fix the door, aru!'_

Yao had been so angry with him that he wouldn't let Ivan eat until the door was fixed, much to the annoyment of the Russian man.

Yao smiled and slid the door to his study open and strode in.

_'I'm sorry Jao-jao!'_

It hadn't worked.

He shouldn't of tried in the first place.

Yao had tried to hang himself in his study on his 180th birthday. He thought maybe the curse wouldn't work if he killed himself, instead of dying of old age.

He was wrong of course.

He really was cursed to never die.

Curse that stupid, dragon boss of his! This is all his fault!

Never would he see Mei, Kiku, Kaoru, Yong Soo or Ivan again. Ever!

_'Yao hurry up! We're going to be late!'_

He'd never see his siblings or his husband again, he'd never see his boss, he'd never see Francis, he'd never see Macau, he'd never see Lien and he'd never see Arthur again.

_'Forgive me for what I am about to do, nii-san,'_

He was cursed, cursed to live alone for the rest of eternity.

_'Brother Yao!'_

He never imagined his life would turn out this way, he'd always imagined his life to be filled with family and happiness.

_'That's great da-ze! I was going to leave after breakfast, so you can have your quiet birthday,'_

Not death and sadness. He'd had his life planned since he was 8 years old, he was going to become a university teacher, he was going to meet a nice woman at work one day and they were going to be married next to a beautiful bush of peonies.

_'Smile for me Jao-jao, da?'_

They were going to have two children, a boy and a girl, called An and Chun-Yan. They were going to live in a lovely, little house out by the sea.

_'Would you rather . . .'_

But would he of wanted to live that life and never know Ivan? Or would he rather this life?

Is it truly better to of loved then to of never loved at all?

_'. . . die right now or live forever?'_

If he was asked that question again, he still wouldn't know what to do. But even so ,he wouldn't change his mind for anything in the world. Although he had gone through so much pain, he'd rather this life then anything else in the world. To of met Ivan and Macau, that was enough for him. This was his journey and it wasn't over yet, and he wouldn't swap it for anything.

_'Live forever.'_


End file.
